I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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