watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
