Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
