Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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