yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize