The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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