just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
