rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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