Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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