Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
