There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
