So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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