You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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