btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
