everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
