this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
