But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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