don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
