Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you guys were way drunker than both of me
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My pussy is not your playground.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
