Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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