How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
