i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
