you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
