I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
