You work out of a Hotel?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
