just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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