You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
