That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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