I'm so fucking centered right now
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
tell me about the eggs
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