he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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