is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
