I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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