We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
