I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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