i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
