The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
