A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
