Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
