My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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