You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
whose parrot is this?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
