Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
