addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
