What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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