I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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