he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
