I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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