i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
