Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
