Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
