There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
