I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize