Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
