is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize