Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
