Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
