dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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