I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
