Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize