I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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