I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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