i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Houston, we have a squirter
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
